Wizzards Wizzardry

The Darkness… The Darkness

unconstructed — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 04:39:39 +0000

Verily, verily, I say unto thee… Dwarves requireth much and doeth little…

They all want their own rooms! I cannot remember a time when the old wizardry did not live in the wizzards tower, ten beds in room, no heating facilities. The insides of the room often froze. AND WE LIKED IT!

MWAHAHHAHAHAHA! I hath struck mine dwarves with the nonphallick IRON ROD OF DESTRUCTION AND DISCIPLINE!!! And they build and build.

WHAT??? NO MIGRANTS??? Who defieth my greatness by such treachery against common REASON! My FORTRESS OF DARKNESS is the best fortress EVER! No wizzard shall succeed this greatness! I have doors! And tables! And beds!! And… MINE IRON ROD!

Tame stray dogs… WHO SAID THEY COULD ENTER THE FORTRESS OF DARKNESS?? WHO WILL CLEAN UP THEIR FECAL MATTER AND OTHER UNCLEANLINESSES??????

Oh, it’s autumn… interesting… we shall see what this shall bring. KNAVES!! WHO BUILD THE TABLE WHERE THERE SHOULD BE A DOOR!!!! It couldn’t have been under my orders. I am always right, and in the event that I am deemed wrong, see the previous comment.

ACK! The dogs hath breeded!! MORE EXCREMENT IN MY FORTRESS OF DARKNESS???? WHY? DID I NOT ORDER NO ANIMALS IN THE FORTRESS?????
What happened here? Someone wishes to speak with the master of all things red and dark and red??

The DARKNESS SHALL PREVAIL!

unconstructed — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:56:54 +0000

STOP! Knaves!

As I survey my grand fortress of DARKNESS (verily, a fortress must be of darkness or else… well… no one will respect your fortress), I see my dwarf minions congregate. MWAHAHAHAHHA. MINIONS!!! WAIT!! HALT!! MINIONS NOOOOOO!!! Hrm…. I must tell these minions what to do… they are not particularly intelligent.

DIG MY MINIONS!!! DIG!!

Fascinating. They dig with the strength of ten men!

Ahhh… the legions of men will bow to my strong fortress of DARKNESS. And it will be DARK. and of the DARKNESS. and… DARK! Verily, it shall be dark.

DAMN YOU DWARVES! My minions have left my fortress of DARKNESS and are wandering around in the whoknowswhere for the whoknowswhat.

So far I have collected food and trees for my minions that cannot create food and water by the magick arts. Pff.. I laugh at their inabilities. MWAHAHAHAHHAHA.

Hrm… apparently they are fighting salamanders and something is dying, though I know not what. I should keep better watch of my minions…OR I MAY HAVE TO SMITE WITH MY IRON ROD AGAIN!! NONPHALLICK ROD OF DEATH!!! AND DARKNESS!

WHAT?? Apparently one of my dwarves thinks anvils are furniture…

And now they descend INTO THE DEPTHS OF FORT DARKNESS!! MWAHAHAH, FEEL MY WRATH AS I COMMAND MY MINIONS TO DIG TO THE SECOND FLOOR!!

Verily, we now have a very small second floor.

VERILY, NOW WE HAVE A FOURTH FLOOR!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! THE DIRT SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF MY IRON ROD!

About Dwarf Fortress

bluewizzard — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:52:21 +0000

For our joint rulership project, Red and I will be using the scrying tool known as “Dwarf Fortress”.

What is Dwarf Fortress?

Dwarf Fortress, in fortress mode, puts you in command (but not control) of a dwarven settlement. The game procedurally generates a world for you, then you select a site and embark with seven dwarves and the skills and supplies that they can afford.

By default, the game uses tiled ASCII characters for the graphics, and ends up looking kind of like the Matrix:

(Click for full size)
This is Dwarf Fortress, using the included standard square tileset.

We’ll be using Mike Mayday’s tileset. This is the same screen, using version 21 of his mixed tileset:

(Click for full size)
As you can see, it’s a little more intuitive. In this picture, you can see seven dwarves: two miners (grey), two woodworkers (yellow), two farmers (brown), and a stoneworker (white). You can also see four dogs, a cat, a donkey, and a muskox. Notable objects include the wagon the dwarves arrived in, a barrel (still in the wagon), a few scattered boulders, many trees and saplings, a number of harvestable shrubs, and, directly south of the east section of the wagon, an anthill. Ground tiles visible, besides grass and pebbles of various types of rock, include scattered patches of red sand (which will be useful for glassmaking later), and small pools of water. To the south is the side of a hill or mountain, with slopes (denoted by triangles) leading up to the next z-level.

Once you arrive at the site, the game is open-ended. Generally, you try to survive and build up the fortress, but this is entirely optional. And remember Dwarf Fortress’s motto: Losing is fun!

Ohh, we’re going to have so much fun.

Red is even less experienced with this scrying tool than I am, and its user interface leaves a little to be desired, so before we start our joint venture he’ll be running through this excellent tutorial by 9th Court High Wizzard TinyPirate from After Action Reporter: The Complete and Utter Newby Tutorial for Dwarf Fortress. It would probably be more fun to toss him in and watch him squirm, but there are some things you just don’t do to a fellow Wizzard, even if he is a nutball.

If you mortals wish to access additional knowledge regarding dwarves and their fortresses, you may view the collaborative codex.

Every time I use the term “clog”, a kitten dies

bluewizzard — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 06:41:55 +0000

So begins the clog of Red Wizzard and Blue Wizzard: A grand venture, that will ultimately prove to the world that Blue is better than Red.

In the coming days we two masters of the arcane will detail our endeavors as we undertake two great projects:

1) Construction of the arena that will hold our final showdown. (Pygame project, with dueling wizzards)

2) Joint rulership of a dwarven settlement, in the spirit of Boatmurdered.

Stay tuned, mortals!